Congratulations on your sweet, snuggly, (somewhat needy) new babe! Babies bring on a lot of wonderful feelings and emotions: cuddles, excitement, an overwhelming sense of love. But, let’s face it babies also come with a lot of scary emotions and major life changes that you may not be ready for. Spoiler alert… YOU ARE NEVER FULLY READY. This could be your first baby or your tenth baby, and you will never be prepared for all of the changes that are to come. Everyone’s postpartum journey and experiences are unique.
It’s Ashley here, BBN&N’s Nanny Placement Director. Three weeks ago I gave birth to my baby girl, Johnnie Grace. EVERYTHING was planned down to the hour; this was foolproof. She is my third baby, so of course, I knew the drill and nothing could surprise me.
With my first baby, I experienced extreme postpartum depression and I was determined to get in front of it this time. I figured that the more planning I had done ahead of time, the less could bring me down. Wrong again!
The past three weeks have not flown by, but instead crept along like a pregnant slug. There have been moments of success and moments of failure, and each day has brought on its own new set of challenges. Motherhood comes with a lot of magic, however a new baby can make the magic harder to recognize. Three weeks into motherhood with three littles, and this is what I have learned.
Postpartum Journey & Emotions
- It is okay to not like your kids. I came home to my precocious five year old and my trying three year old….and I didn’t want to be there! I felt as though these two precious little beings who are the whole reason I was convinced to make another one, were imposing on my life with my newborn, and I didn’t want them around me. Especially the three year old; he’s a tough one, to put it lightly! For instance, some days all of the energy I have is spent on keeping him out of harm’s way, and I wasn’t ready to jump into that job again.
- It is okay to feel frustrated with your partner. My amazing husband, picks up all the slack and handles it like a real trooper, was even more annoying to me than the kids! Anything he did or said wasn’t “right,” well in my mind at least.
- It is okay to not want to be around friends or family. I was turning away friends that I have known for decades, people wanting to meet my baby and bring me DINNER!! I actually said no to food. Luckily, true friends understand this and try again the next day. (let’s face it, I am pretty fickle even when I am not postpartum).
- It is okay to look forward to bedtime. The days can be super long and sometimes all you can do is make it to bedtime with your dirty hair and three day old jammies. If you make it to bedtime, you’ve won in my book.
- It is okay to daydream about life before baby. I always hated when people said “can you even remember life without your baby?” Yes. Yes, I can. It was three days ago and I had it all together and wasn’t a big hormonal mess.
- It is okay to not be okay! Life is hard. Kids are hard. Being a mom is REALLY hard. Some days you feel like a super human, and sometimes you feel like a giant loser. Both of these feelings are normal and you will always have bad days mixed in with the good. It is okay to admit when you don’t feel right. It is okay to have days where you wallow in self pity. And it’s okay to ask for help.
- It is okay to take care of YOU! Yes, the baby needs you, your other children need you, and your partner needs you. But right now, YOU need you! Above all, you need to advocate for yourself. Love and respect yourself because a well rested, happy mom raises happy children.
If you take care of yourself and are honest and open with others, I PROMISE, you will come out of this postpartum journey even stronger and better than you entered it. In addition allow yourself some grace during this time. Whether you are back to exercising and your old routines, or you are sitting on your couch eating ice cream out of the carton (I’ll let you guess which category I am currently a part of) you are doing an amazing job! You made a new human and you are allowed to feel any which way you please! Take care of yourself, new mama. We are all in this together! Check out Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny’s Instagram. Every Monday you will see real moms trudging through motherhood one step at a time in our “Mom Truth Monday” posts.
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One in four children under the age of five has a sleep issue. Most children’s sleep issues are behavioral and not medical. If your child is struggling with sleep issues, you are not alone!
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