Positive Discipline is a parenting style designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful, and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best-selling Positive Discipline parenting books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, the program teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults.
Punishments Are a Short Term Fix
The thing about punishment is that it might actually work in the short-term, which makes it enticing for caregivers. However, in the long-term it damages your relationship with your child and builds resentment in them towards you. It doesn’t teach them anything about what they did wrong or how they can do better next time. Dr Jane Nelsen states that when using Positive Discipline, “Children are more motivated to cooperate, learn new skills, and offer affection and respect when they feel encouraged, connected, and loved.”
“Behavior is a FORM OF COMMUNICATION; it is NOT the thing to focus on.” -Erin Taylor
So how can we discipline a child without punishments? Well, first find out what emotion or underlying factor is affecting your child. Is your child hungry but cannot express that and therefore showing undesirable behavior? Did your child get made fun of in P.E. class today, but is keeping it in? You must talk to your child to hear their story and learn how you can best help. For older children can you problem solve a solution together? For younger children help by telling them an appropriate action rather than saying they shouldn’t act in an undesirable fashion. Kids are always learning, so provide them with the skills they need to be successful!
Natural Vs. Logical Consequences
Consequences are just the cause and effect of an action. They don’t always need to be negative. A natural consequence is when a consequence takes place on its own, without a caregiver’s intervention. And a logical consequence is when a caregiver gives a consequence that directly relates to the behavior. Here is a great example of both in the scenario of your child running near a pool. First state what could happen, “Please don’t run next to the pool. It is not safe; you could slip and get hurt or even fall in”. Then tell the child what they could do instead. “If your body has a need for speed we could take a break from the pool and go play tag over on the grass”. If the child does not listen, he may unfortunately suffer the natural consequence of slipping and scrapping his knee. You could intervene and say, “You’re not making a safe choice, so we are going to be done at the pool and play on the swing set instead”.
Positive Discipline Online Class
Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny is proud to announce we are now offering an online class for parents and caregivers: Positive Discipline For Positive Caregivers. Our class walks you through the ins and outs of Positive Discipline, leaving you with many new tools to successfully work with your child. The class consists of videos, PowerPoint slides with notes, handouts, articles, and printable posters to support all learning styles. It is taught by Erin Taylor who is a certified parent and family coach with her Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology.
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